~~My name is Taffy and this is my story~~

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Leg warmers

Before you ask - I haven't a clue.  However, this dog has guts or mad owners. My friend Benjy from Warlingham sent me this snap.  She's kinda cute I think - well I'm presuming it's a she dog.  Who knows these days?  It may be a boy dog getting in touch with his feminine side.  If you know who this is, please leave a comment.
Dear oh dear - Charles Ward let himself down in our house yesterday.  His owners are still having a good time on holiday without him and I am still sharing my owners to make him and Molly feel better.  I believe they'll be home Thursday. Charles and Molly came over yesterday after SWMBO took them for a walk (without me I might add).  In our garage lives a sack of dried dog food, which is on the floor.  SWMBO trusts me not to eat from the sack and I respect that trust.  Not so Charlie.  Before you could say 'the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog', he was in head first and didn't come out until the sack was a lot lighter.  He then proceeded to pull apart one of my toys until he got out the squeaker.  He then trashed it.  I thought he'd never settle down and he played with Molly all evening.  At one point he went out and stood in some doggie doo-doos.  He then danced it onto the lounge carpet, the stairs and the bathroom floor.  He must have also stood in the shower cubicle because that needed cleaning too.  SWMBO sniffed it and went to get the pet stain remover but she told HWMBO that it was only mud.  Who was she kidding?  My sensitive nostrils are still smarting.  She spent the next half an hour on her knees with a cloth and spray.  I heard her tell Hayley - their guardian - 'We'll have them any time'  I think she's a good actress.
This morning in the dining room, in a hundred pieces, was a blue car sponge which Chaz must have found in the garage.  Laugh?  I nearly passed the bones around.
Today I was taken for 'Jellification'. That's their code word for a grooming appointment. The lady's name is Val Jelley and I guess they think it's funny and I'm daft.  As soon as I arrive at Val's house, I shiver and shake and try to go in the opposite direction.  I'm dragged into the poodle parlour and for two hours have to endure many indignities including have my bottom squeezed.  (Anal glands for the uninitiated).  I have tried to make it difficult for Val but she struggles on valiantly (Like that?  Valiantly) Why am I making little jokes? I hate it there. On the way out I always try to have a wee, just to let them all know how I hate going there.  However, now I wear a belly band, I'm not upsetting anyone apart from myself.  Anyway, it's over for a few more weeks and I get a lot more cuddles when I look so gorgeous and smell so sweet.  I'll get SWMBO to take a fresh snap of me and I'll share my good looks with you tomorrow.

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