I fancy I mentioned I had the company of two ladies last night. I was combed to within an inch of my life and a new pad was applied to my nether regions. I'd forgotten just how charming a lady's company can be - Molly doesn't count because she's like a sister to me - and she bites my undercarriage when I jump out of the car boot. Where was I? Oh yes, the lovely girls - my bitches - Ellie and Cindy. I haven't seen them since I last wet my pants in their kennel a few months ago. As soon as they arrived I showed them around the garden. I'm guessing the yelling from SWMBO was encouragement, so we trampled over the flower beds some more.
Well, dear reader how can I put this? I still have 'IT'. Oh yes, I might be coming up 105 but that Ellie was putty in my paws. She was flirting with me like never before and I swear I heard her pant 'Take me'. I made her wait. I had a few party tricks up my dew claw to show the ladies. I know you've heard about them before dear reader but they hadn't seen my repertoire, so I sicked up my dinner and ate it all up in front of them. It always brings the kennel down and makes the humans wretch. Laugh? I would have but I had to eat quickly before the girls ate my dinner for me. Then I licked and licked their Mum's legs until SWMBO was apologising and dragging me away - telling Sandra he's never done that before!?!? What is she like?
Now correct me if I'm wrong but does this look like a 'come on' to you? I took it to be so and shortly after tried to get stuck in - literally! Well bark about coitus interruptus - this was more like coitus non startus. What on earth was the panic about? I'm only firing blanks anyway. She was just asking for it the hussey. I felt a hand on my collar and soon it was all over. She still carried on before me but from then on I played hard to get.
We had a nice evening and after I'd licked all the left over curry, we had a nice sleep. Then we had another photo shoot. SWMBO tried to get us all sitting in a line and offered us Schmackos as a kind of bribe. We knew the score and having got a treat - legged it. I think we finished a bag of 24 treats before she gave up. Cindy was a real babe in arms and sits on her mummy's knee like a puppy.
The second highlight for me and Dad, was when Cindy came out from under the sofa in the conservatory covered in cobwebs. SWMBO was mortified and
as soon as the guests had gone, she was on her hands and knees with a feather duster under the conservatory furniture. Too late - Cindy had already done the job.