~~My name is Taffy and this is my story~~

Monday, 17 January 2011

I'm trying to forget Christmas

Woofy New Year to my readers ~ somewhat belatedly I confess.  Well, I have been reluctant to write here for a number of reasons but have decided to get things off my hairy chest.  Christmas 2010 will probably be my last.  In fact if certain people had their way ~ I would not be here writing this today.  More of which later. Now I know you all think I'm sweetness and light but if I'm to be honest, I do have my moments.  I do not like children.  There - I've woofed it.  It's out there in cyberspace for all to read.  SWMBO has gone to great lengths to avoid any little person under the age of about say - 12, or thereabouts - coming into my territory.  I'm not used to them d'you see?  But every now and then, it's not possible and I must come into contact with them.  Now please don't think I'm savage because I'm not.  I just give out little warning shots but you have to understand, I can only do it with my teeth and my bark.  I guess you're already one step ahead in my story aren't you?
Last year I had a nice quiet Christmas with my foster folks, Val & Eric in Molesey.  This year my little pack went to Torquay for some sea air on the south coast.  It was a long car journey down there and I'm not a great traveller - even though SWMBO sat in the back with me.  I refuse to go to sleep and I have to watch to see that we're going in the right direction.  (HWMBO has no idea re. directions.) Anyway, by the time we got there, I was a little tired and very hungry.  So I really didn't need a cuddle from a small humanoid called Ava - 22 months.  Everyone sat up for their meal except me and Ava and as she lurched towards me, I told her off.  I didn't mean to catch her eye and her cheek.  I was just telling her to leave me alone.
Well, pandemonium ensued.  Ava was taken to hospital  and I never saw her family again for two days.  SWMBO was in tears and there was talk of going home before the holiday had even started.   I'm not sure whether this was because I'd snapped at Ava or because the dinner wasn't up to scratch.  Who can tell? The vet's name was mentioned but HWMBO said he wasn't to come.  For some reason, if the vet had come, my mum would have been very unhappy all over Christmas.  Not sure why.  All I do know is that for the rest of the week, when I was in the house and there were children around - I was muzzled.  I was even walked around on my lead indoors.  I tried to be friendly to everyone after that but I think my goose was cooked, so to speak. (Not that I got any goose this year!) The good news is that I didn't break her skin and no medical was needed.  However, my little secret was now exposed and I was doga-non-gratis thereafter.
The walks by the sea were nice though and I always like to visit my cousin Eddy.  She's getting on like me.  I'm not at all sure we'll meet again.  Overall though, it wasn't a great Christmas - considering it may have been my last.  Lady Blockley even popped in the day before we came home.  She did a pooh in the kitchen, so not to be outdone, I did one the next day in a similar spot.  Couldn't help it. They were all taking so long to get ready for our walk.
I'm sorry if this blog entry is a little downcast - not my usual bundle of laughs - but strange things are happening to me.  HWMBO says I'm well over 100 in human years.  That sounds very old doesn't it? Well, I shall savour each day and treat each one as my last because one day it will be. Good night!


  1. Hi Taffy,why was the child not sat up at the table to eat ,where were the parents? Why leave a toddler with a crusty old boy like you.
    lots of barks and licks to you

  2. I'm with you of course Benji - but I think we're in the minority! Thanks for your support. Am I crusty? I guess I have become so.

  3. Hi Taffy,
    I agree with Benji 100%. Parents are supposed to be responsible for the care of their children and these particular parents were sadly lacking in that area. In retrospect, it sounds like the whole drama was much ado about nothing! You are not alone old son with not liking the attentions of young humans. My dear old Pepper girl had the same problem once. The toddler would not leave her alone until Pep snapped a warning. Fortunately she did not actually touch the girl. But again, the parents were too busy enjoying themselves to notice the child's behaviour or else they didn't care. Who knows? You take things easy Taff and look on each new day as a bonus, both for you and your folks.

    With lots of love,
    Auntie Ba.

  4. Ah-reet Taffy lad?

    Nah then young'en ah'll tell thee summat fer-nowt. Ah-cud eet a'scabby-donkey tween tu Bre't-Vans but ah cudden et a whole babby. Mind am as sick as a Cleethorpes donkey that tha’s ‘ad such a rum do just fer ed-buttin’ t’ bairn. Any roads babbies’re nowt but spit an' glue an yu’ could ride bear-arsed t'Brat-fud on thy old teeth.

    There's niver nowt, but-what there's summat.
    And when-there's summat, it's-offen nowt.
    And them-that allus' thinks they're-summat,
    'as-nearly allus-risen fray-nowt.
    It's no-use sittin-an-waitin' for summat,
    'Cos more-offen, it' nobbut' ends-wi'nowt.
    An' come to-think on-it', these lines I've penned,
    Are-myst-lee summat' abart-nowt.

    So quit bletherin’ like tha’s oni fit f'knackers yard, ye wazzock, and mind SWMBO’s bladder's too near 'er-eyes.