I'm a contortionist dontcha know

Doesn't everyone sleep like this?  Why they thought it funny I can only hazard a guess.  I happen to like my bottom sticking up in the air when I go to sleep.  To laugh would be cruel.  Guess which two couldn't get to sleep laughing at me.  To make matters worse they took my photograph.  Can a dog get no peace around here?
SWMBO is back on this fitness thing again.  My walks seem endless when she's on a health kick.  I'M OLD.  Benson runs around like he's just been released from Bedlam and I just try to keep up.  I have started to follow the wrong people in the park.  Of course this is just a ruse to make her come and get me.  Well, she wants the exercise! I trot off in the totally wrong direction and it's hilarious to hear her huffing and puffing to try and catch up with me and my new leader. She thinks my eyes are going and are cloudy but it's my little joke.
SWMBO went out for an hour tonight and when she came back, she smelled strongly of eau de Charlie, eau de Molly and eau de Trixie, Belle of Ewell.  So I went into the garden and came back smelling of eau de Reynard.  I was promptly put in the shower stall for my efforts.
Talking of foxes, I think it must the mating season because every time I go out, there are two of them in my territory and they are very vocal.  I see them off and they come straight back into the garden.  My owners then spend ages watching their antics when they could be pampering moi.  Humans!