Adorable Austin

Who's this fine fella you're thinking aren't you? This is another new pal of mine and his name is Austin. May I say here and now, that he is streets ahead of Scottie - you may remember dear reader that Scottie lost my new tennis ball - more about him in a minute. My Dad calls Austin,  'Vauxhall' - his little joke - but Austin wasn't amused.  He's heard them all before.  Apparently 'he has the refined lines of an old Austin Healey' . Austin has a beauty spot on his nose and I like him a lot.  We seem well suited in age and trot around South Godstone like we own the land.  There are so many other dogs in the area and they all bark incessantly as we pass.  We ignore them. (Well, I can't hear them actually but Austin told me.) Of course, being a Gordon Setter, his Scottish accent took a little getting used to but we communicate well now.
The first time I met Austin, when we were out walking, he spotted a little plastic bag in the hedgerow.  SWMBO thought someone had dropped a pooh bag but Austin honed in on it and started to eat it. There followed a tug of war and Austin won hands - sorry - paws down.  There must have been food in that bag but he didn't share it with me.  Ever since then, SWMBO has taken an unnatural interest in his pooh and any rubbish lying around the roads. I might just say that there is very little debris lying around near where Austin lives.  It's the poshest road I've ever been walked in. My mum was worried Austin wouldn't be allowed out with us again but his bowel movements seem not to be affected and he seems to like it when we arrive for walkies.
Talking of pooh, I let my owners have a sleep in this morning and didn't wake SWMBO until about 6.30 am.  I stared at her and shook myself until she awoke.  She let me outside and we came back in and back to the bedroom.  Just as she got comfy in bed again, HWMBO said, 'I can smell pooh'.  So SWMBO jumped out of bed again - yes, you guessed it - right into one of my little parcels.  When a dog's got to go - a dog's got to go.  I settled down for more slumber, whilst she scrubbed the carpet with something foul smelling.  If HWMBO hadn't said anything, she could have carried on sleeping.  Don't blame me!
Later in the morning, I was helped into the car and off we went to collect Scottie.  We walked in the muddiest place on earth.  It was a different, new place alongside The Hogsmill river.  I had to do another pooh and lost my balance - and sat in my own mess. Please don't laugh - she made me get in the cold river to clean it off my feathers.  Scottie did his usual disapperaring act for about 10 minutes and when it was time to go home, he was so muddy, she put him in the boot of the car before me.  Bad move.  When I went to get in, he bit me.  BIT ME - IN MY CAR.  He was taken out and put on the back seat and I got back into my own space.  I was bleeding.  And he owes me a ball (Have I mentioned that already?) So, as you can see, Gordon Setters are a whole lot nicer than J. R's.
When Austin and I are finished our walk, I get back into my car space and SWMBO takes Austin inside to clean his paws.  Well he doesn't like it and growls and barks.  She's such a wimp that she jumps out of her skin and lets him have a drink of water, thereby wetting the floor somewhat. Then she cleans the floor (Not very well actually) in preference to upsetting Austin. He's very clever too.  He told me that when he scratches a particlular door in the kitchen, it is usually opened by a humanoid and gravy bones are fed him.  But in case his mum is reading this - he only gets 2 and he wants you to know - It's not enough!! Well it's back to sleep for me.  Waking up in the middle of the night makes me so tired and weary and with all this extra walking.... I'm done in.